How do I honor gay parents?

We are called to honor our parents in so far as we are able to do so while ultimately obeying the Lord. This is similar to how we are called to submit to the governing authorities in Romans 13, in so much as the government does not require us to violate God's commands.

In the case of gay parents, we should seek to honor them as best we can within the confines of Scripture and our conscience. We should also seek to live peaceably with them, so far as we can while ultimately obeying God (Romans 12:18). However, our ultimate allegiance is to God and what He deems to be appropriate. That means there will, regrettably, come a point where we are no longer able to obey or honor gay parents (e.g., we cannot support or encourage them in their sin nor can we participate in their sin).

Scripture is clear that we should not actively participate in or support the sin of others (Matthew 18:6; Romans 14). Pauls tells us in several of his letters that those whose lives are characterized by sin will not inherit the kingdom of God. So, the question for believers is, should we support/participate in an activity that is described as keeping others out of the kingdom of God? The answer is clearly "no."

Now, how do we apply that to those whom we love, particularly parents? There are ways to love our friends and family while not also participating in their sinful lifestyles or choices. For parents living in sin, we can love them by doing what we can to make sure they're taken care of and have their needs met. We can seek to find ways of honoring them that don't involve violating God's commandments or our consciences. We can also pray continuously for them and that they would turn from their sin and follow Jesus.

However, we have to understand that our ultimate allegiance is to the Lord, not to our parents. In Luke 14:26 Jesus makes it clear that we are to love Him above even our closest family. Not supporting others in their sin may mean that they no longer want to be around us or that they get angry with us. However, that is part of the cost of following Jesus. People were angry at Jesus because he wouldn't support them in their sin so we shouldn't be surprised that they are angry with us as well.